"Percy Jackson and the Olympians" Film Review

Sitting in the worn and suspiciously stained Ga Value Cinemas after paying $3.98 for my date and I to see the movie of his choice it is safe to say I had mixed emotions as to how the night would turn out. I naively clung to the comforting thought that no matter how terribly the night might progress I would, at the very least, be guaranteed to get my money's worth.
Alas, it took no less than the first shot to wholeheartedly shatter this ill-conceived optimism as the image of a dreadfully configured giant CGI Poseidon slowly walked out of the ocean to fill up the faded screen before an abrupt cut to the main character Percy at his high school. As far as I can tell there is no actual purpose to this opening shot other than perhaps someone with authority thought it looked cool (for your sake I'm not pinning it on you Columbus). My only conceivable explanation for this impaired judgment is that that someone must have already seen the rest of the film and as a result deemed the opening shot worthy by sheer default. The pointless opening is unfortunately an accurate precursor to the inchoate plot unveiled in the remainder of the film.
The film "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief" is based off of Rick Riordan's novel and is directed by Chris Columbus. Columbus is a well-established director, recently receiving increased notability for directing the first two Harry Potter films. In an effort to differentiate Percy from Potter, Columbus decided to alter the film from the novel by using actors around the ages of seventeen as opposed to the twelve year old characters described by Riordan. Though this is indeed an ample modification to separate the films' similarities, the major factor distinguishing "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" from "Harry Potter" is quality.
The basis of the film is the struggle of a young demi-god, Percy Jackson, as he discovers his true identity as the son of Poseidon and becomes thrust into a world full of powerful mythological beings. Percy is mistakenly accused by Zeus of stealing the all-powerful lightning bolt. With his life now at stake, Percy is taken to a camp where other demi-gods reside. Here Percy is acquainted with several strange mythological creatures ranging from Grover the Satyr (half human, half goat) who serves as his own personal protector, to a Centaur played by Pierce Brosnan serving as the camp leader, to the daughter of Athena, Annabeth, another demi-god as well as Percy's love-interest. At the camp Percy briefly learns to manage his powers before realizing that his mother has been abducted by Hades as collateral for the lightning bolt. Upon this discovery Percy sets out on a quest, along with Grover and Annabeth, to save his mother from the depths of hell and to catch the true lightning thief in order to clear his name.
Though many of the ingredients for an entertaining adventure are present, including an impressive cast, the final product lacks direction and exudes a rather haphazard progression. The dialogue among the teenagers comes across as insipid making it impossible to relate to and/or care about the characters or their problems. Some of the adult cast actually managed to pull off worthy performances, such as Percy’s mother Sally played by Catherine Keener (who in her move from being paired with a 40 year old virgin to a Greek God has absurdly managed to downgrade). These brief adequate performances were nowhere near pervasive enough, however, to change the overall disappointment that is “Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.” Not to be too harsh on Columbus but this latest film is certainly not evidence of his development as a director, as a fan of his early works I should have known better and stayed “Home Alone” myself.